In the spirit of Tanya Davis’ and Andrea Dorfman’s short film ‘How To Be Alone’, I have composed a poem regarding Valentine’s Day – that traditional celebration of romantic love. Romantic love is only one type of love, and it is not necessarily even the most fulfilling or valuable type of love. Far more important is to love and accept yourself: by all means improve yourself, but understand that you cannot truly love anyone or anything until you love yourself.
How To Be Alone On Valentine’s Day
On Valentine’s Day,
Date yourself.
Use your favourite bodywash in the shower;
Or take a three-hour bath with candles and bath bombs.
Wear your favourite scents.
Get dressed in your favourite clothes – pyjamas, jeans, or tuxedo.
Wear your favourite jewellery.
Smile at yourself in the mirror: you look amazing.
Take yourself out walking, to the movies, to a park,
And imagine how many people wish that they were you –
Envying your self-confidence, your self-sufficiency,
Your strength in not needing a partner to validate you.
You are enough in yourself.
Your looks – your body – your intellect – your personality –
Are enough for you.
Go your favourite restaurant. Buy yourself dinner. Forget the cost; enjoy. Breathe deeply. Today is a gift to yourself.
Or curl up at home with books and D.V.D.s.
Eat straight from the tin, with a cocktail fork.
Make yourself your favourite dessert.
Light those special fancy candles. Enjoy them.
Put flowers on the table, for yourself.
This day does not have to be one of loneliness.
It does not have to be a day of regrets, or insecurity.
It can be a day of devotion and strength and sureness.
On this sugar-coated, pink heart-shaped day,
Remember how to love.
Not how to give gifts or how to buy flowers,
But how to show a person that they are valuable … precious … cherished … adored.
Humility is not self-hatred.
Confidence is not conceit.
Self-love is not selfish.
Love yourself, listen to yourself, be honest with yourself, accept yourself, honour yourself,
As you would love and listen to and be honest with and accept and honour a person who was most precious to you;
And you will find yourself loving and listening to and being honest with and accepting and honouring
Others
And the planet
And all good things.
There are so many ways to love.
Start with yourself.
