How To Be A Prince
- Know that you are the ruler of your life. Embrace it. You are allowed to have authority in your own life.
- Nothing is too good for you. Stop fretting over whether or not you ‘deserve’ things: you don’t. No one does. Life isn’t about getting what we deserve, it’s about making the best of what we get. Princes don’t deserve to be princes; they just are. They’re born to it. And you were born to it. You were born to be a glorious, benevolent, gentle, brave, kind, mighty, noble, wise, honourable, self-actualised prince. Be it. If life hands you good things, enjoy them, and, if possible, share them with your friends and subjects, as a good prince should. Don’t worry about whether or not you deserve good things; instead, make sure you become worthy of them, by striving to be a good, honourable person.
- Remember, a true prince knows that everyone is valuable, and that his friends and subjects are as precious and important as he is. No one’s life is worth more than yours; and no one’s is worth less, either.
- Work on being a good person. How can you rule your life – your kingdom – if you can’t rule yourself? Identify your weaknesses and see what can be done to fix or control them. Remember, the greatest enemy comes from within: it is your own flaws that will do you the greatest damage. Know them, navigate them, undo them piece by piece. Don’t try to rush this process: it will last your entire life, and so it should. Don’t try to become perfect: you will fail, for you are inherently imperfect. But here is a great secret: perfection is an illusion anyway. Strive for brilliance, for excellence, for improvement – but never perfection. Chasing such a mirage will destroy you and everything you have managed to build thus far. Have high standards, but know that even you will fail your own standards sometimes.
- Treat yourself with courtesy and love. Would you speak to others as you allow that nasty inner voice to speak to you? Would you say to someone you love the things you sometimes say to yourself? Your inner thoughts can be your greatest enemy or your greatest friend: which would you rather have living inside your head? When someone wrongs you, a wise and magnanimous prince forgives but takes care around that person in future. Likewise, forgive yourself, and acknowledge the flaw that led you to wrong yourself, taking steps to prevent it happening again.
- Confidence is your birthright. You have as much right to be here as any other living creature on this planet. Remember your value. You have a crown within your soul even when there is no crown on your head, and anywhere you sit is a throne.
- Life is full of difficult decisions, particularly with regard to other people. Do your best at all times, and let that be the end of it, for you can do nothing more than your best. Try not to hurt others, but do not let them rule you: you must rule yourself. In things that do not concern others, you do not need their approval.
- Take care of your body. Feed it as well as you can, exercise it, clean it, give it plenty of water and sleep. Find a form of exercise that you like, and fall in love with it and, in the process, with your body. Never hurt your body on purpose, and forgive it for being what it is or for not being what you wanted it to be: it can no more help being what it is than you can help being what you are. Listen to your body's signals; they are there for a reason and that reason is to help you take care of it. A prince understands that no matter how powerful he is, he cannot change nature itself, but only work with it. Enjoy your body and what it brings you. Decorate it with clothes, perfume, creams, jewellery, tattoos, flower crowns – whatever makes you feel good in your corporeal dwelling. Move with grace, and be aware of your posture: you are a prince! Princes do not slouch!
- Indulge. You were not put here to be miserable. Why should a prince worry about whether or not he can allow himself a slice of chocolate cake? Why should a prince feel unworthy of having flowers in his lounge? Of course a prince is entitled to a fur bedspread, a new necklace, an ice cream, a fancy pen, a fresh mango. Only the ignorant would challenge such harmless indulgence on the part of royalty.
- A good prince should be heroic. But heroism is not the same thing as drama or violence: before you fight, be sure that you need to. Many wrongs are best addressed in another way; even if your heart thrills at the thought of battle, learn to love a peaceful solution. Negotiation is at least as important as warcraft, for greater than the greatest warrior is he who averts a war in the first place. Avoid taking revenge for slights and small wrongs: you are above such pettiness. You have a kingdom to rule – what does it matter that a stable-boy flicked a towel at you? A stable-boy's impudence is the stable-boy's problem, not yours. Know how to defend yourself and others; learn to ascertain when you should fight and when you should not; and remember that there are many ways to fight.
- You will make mistakes: that’s normal: how else are you to learn? The best thing to do with mistakes is to learn from them. For every mistake, learn something.
- You are responsible for everything you do. Everything. Own your actions.
- Learn to apologise graciously. Despite your best intentions and best attempts, you will occasionally hurt people. A prince is humble and noble enough to acknowledge when he has made a mistake, and gracious and loving enough to apologise to those he hurt. Inability to genuinely apologise is the mark of the arrogant, and a prince should never be arrogant.
- Niceness and goodness are not the same thing. What is goodness? It is always doing what is right, no matter the cost to yourself. What is niceness? It is politeness, friendliness, elegance, charm, smooth words, the appearance of goodness. Many of the most awful people in the world are very nice; and those who do what is right are not always perceived as being nice. Be as nice as you can, but always, always, be good. And remember to look at people’s actions, not just their words: sometimes niceness ends where actions begin.
- Confront yourself, prince. Sometimes the scariest things in the world are the things that look back at us in the mirror. Be brave. Be kind. Be loving. Point your heart in the direction of goodness, justice, and love.
(Reminder: preorders of Raymond's Nemesis, the sequel to Raymond, are now available at iBooks, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble. My previous blog post here has more about the book. You can view the book's page here at Smashwords, but Smashwords does not have the capacity for preorders.)
